Saint Patrick 2023

Photographed on 3/17/2023

Published on 3/21/2023

Saint Patrick's Day this year happened to fall at the end of spring break for college. Because of this I was on my own while my girlfriend was at a theatre conference and my roommate was visiting back home. I didn't mind being on my own, especially since I've been finding more effective ways of spending my free time lately. This website has honestly played a big part in that.

I've found myself thinking a lot about my self lately. I think I've always been thinking about my self expression from different perspectives, but lately I've been trying to be more open and expressive. I can be very quiet and reserved most of the time, and I think that because of that the way others view me is as a quiet a reserved person. I've always found it hard to express myself openly out of fear that I'll be misunderstood or judged, and I'm working to unpack that.

Since it was Saint Patrick's Day I thought I would go out to a bar and get a drink or grab some beers on the way home to celebrate. I had to work late at my job that afternoon, but when I got off I followed through and got myself dinner and some drinks. When I got home I ate, drank, and decided to make some pictures.

A while ago I bought the green pants I was wearing in these photos off Amazon, but could never quite find the right time or outfit to wear with them. Them being green, and my work requiring business wear, I figured it was the perfect time. I got a lot of compliments on the pants and I felt good wearing them. It's rare that I feel confident in what I wear as I've never had the best fashion sense, but when it clicks for me I feel very good.

At several points in this photoshoot I felt silly and like the photos were turning out badly. I was able to convince myself otherwise, and kept pushing on, deciding to lean into the silliness and fun of the shoot rather than feeling discouraged by it, and I think the photos turned out excellently as a result. For as much self-doubt as I typically feel, releasing things I've worked on to the praise of others offers a lot of validation. Some of these photos have become favorites of my friends, family, and myself, and that would never have happened if I had given up and listened to my doubts.

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